Sometimes I feel like I set myself up for failure. For example, I have a Mom's Morning Out on Mondays when I have 2.5 hours to do whatever I want without my kids. I told myself I will use this time to write my 5 blog posts for the week. I realize now that is tooooooo much pressure. I need to remember that taking things one minute at a time is the safest way for a mother of two to live. If I took all the pressure off that I (alone) put on myself I would breath a lot deeper during the days.
If I took the time to remember the Gospel and the reality of Christ's death for me on the cross the pressure to be perfect that I put on would fall off. If I could remember that God sees only Christ covering me when he looks at my little life I would live it without trying to be "awesome" (or trying to the that girl that has got it together). My prayer today is to remember the gospel and God's love when I put the pressure on.
On a side note... when a mother of two is given 2.5 hours to herself she should totally go to Starbucks and Target... Duhhhhhh!
Me
Monday, September 24, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
This New Life
I like to think I am really good at starting over. I am good at 'unemotional' goodbyes and very friendly with new 'hellos'. I realize now that my skill set ends there. I am sad and depressed and torn and excited and crazy all at the same time (well, the crazy goes with me everywhere I just didn't want her to feel left out).
I miss my sister, I miss my friends, I miss my life, I miss the familiar faces of all the people I love and that loved me so well. I miss knowing where to eat out and how to get to TARGET! I miss knowing which Target was lame and which Target had the best popcorn (yes, I have a Target problem... don't act like you don't). I just miss so many of the little things I did not plan on missing.
I am happy we moved. I am happy that my husband is happy, but I am not happy that I am unhappy. I should by all accounts... be happy. We have a great apartment, I look out my bedroom to clear skies and a forest, it is 65 degrees, I have met a couple new friends, we are members at a great new church and I know this is where God clearly sent us, but I am still depressed and unable to shake the memories of the life I had and LOVED.
So I guess the question is how do I look fondly on the life I lived and forward to the new life I have?
I don't know the answer, but I am finally ready to ask the question. It has been a while since my last post because I didn't want to write some dumb post when this is how I am really feeling. For now I am just living in this feeling knowing that I cannot magically make the sadness go away, but I can fight to look forward to the future with joy and know that it is okay to miss the past. \
Kristen
I miss my sister, I miss my friends, I miss my life, I miss the familiar faces of all the people I love and that loved me so well. I miss knowing where to eat out and how to get to TARGET! I miss knowing which Target was lame and which Target had the best popcorn (yes, I have a Target problem... don't act like you don't). I just miss so many of the little things I did not plan on missing.
I am happy we moved. I am happy that my husband is happy, but I am not happy that I am unhappy. I should by all accounts... be happy. We have a great apartment, I look out my bedroom to clear skies and a forest, it is 65 degrees, I have met a couple new friends, we are members at a great new church and I know this is where God clearly sent us, but I am still depressed and unable to shake the memories of the life I had and LOVED.
So I guess the question is how do I look fondly on the life I lived and forward to the new life I have?
I don't know the answer, but I am finally ready to ask the question. It has been a while since my last post because I didn't want to write some dumb post when this is how I am really feeling. For now I am just living in this feeling knowing that I cannot magically make the sadness go away, but I can fight to look forward to the future with joy and know that it is okay to miss the past. \
Kristen
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Christian Radio
So, I have always been super critical of Christian radio stations because they usually are terrible. In CA the Christian radio stations only play crap and they play the same crap over and over and over. This always got under my skin and just made me so mad that Christians couldn't do radio well.
Then we moved to St. Louis where Christian radio is actually good. They still play some crap... for sure... but most of the music is lyrically uplifting and the content is top notch. Again, some of it is still trash in style and content, but it is more good than bad.
I started thinking about Christian radio and who it reaches and then began to back off of my critical heart because Christian radio reaches a NEW believer in a BIG way. A person who comes to Christ and decides to switch from Katy Perry, Pink, and Bruno Mars to Toby Mac, Mercy Me, and Kari Jobe will go from something purely secular to something that is ideally filling their mind with things of God instead of things of this world.
I try to remember this when I am critical, but it does raise the question. Is 'better' Christian music that has biblically sound content 'most' of the time the goal or should we just give our Christian friends a Bethany Dillon, Derek Webb (early stuff), or Shane and Shane Album???
Thoughts???
Then we moved to St. Louis where Christian radio is actually good. They still play some crap... for sure... but most of the music is lyrically uplifting and the content is top notch. Again, some of it is still trash in style and content, but it is more good than bad.
I started thinking about Christian radio and who it reaches and then began to back off of my critical heart because Christian radio reaches a NEW believer in a BIG way. A person who comes to Christ and decides to switch from Katy Perry, Pink, and Bruno Mars to Toby Mac, Mercy Me, and Kari Jobe will go from something purely secular to something that is ideally filling their mind with things of God instead of things of this world.
I try to remember this when I am critical, but it does raise the question. Is 'better' Christian music that has biblically sound content 'most' of the time the goal or should we just give our Christian friends a Bethany Dillon, Derek Webb (early stuff), or Shane and Shane Album???
Thoughts???
Monday, September 3, 2012
Waiting Here For You
My sister sent me this song Waiting Here for You a long time ago and I loved it then, but I feel like I have been understanding it more and more.
I spend a lot of time waiting on the Lord, but I should be waiting in praise and thankfulness. When I wait for change, peace, circumstances, help and answers my pre-resonse should be waiting in praise singing alleluia!
I also need to remember how much time he spends waiting for me. He waits patiently when I am and far from him and not only does he wait patiently, but as the prodigals father ran to him God runs to me to while I am in the far off distance to bring me home.
Thanks be to God for his pleasing and perfect will that chooses to love us and call us to himself. Help me Lord when I am waiting here for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3OEGnH5x8g
Here is the song.
Love,
Kristen
I spend a lot of time waiting on the Lord, but I should be waiting in praise and thankfulness. When I wait for change, peace, circumstances, help and answers my pre-resonse should be waiting in praise singing alleluia!
I also need to remember how much time he spends waiting for me. He waits patiently when I am and far from him and not only does he wait patiently, but as the prodigals father ran to him God runs to me to while I am in the far off distance to bring me home.
Thanks be to God for his pleasing and perfect will that chooses to love us and call us to himself. Help me Lord when I am waiting here for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3OEGnH5x8g
Here is the song.
Love,
Kristen
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