Someone who really doesn't know me too well said to me yesterday, "If you don't get a job soon and get around people every day, you're gonna shrivel up and die."
My initial thought: "Gee, thanks."
But upon further thought, I realized that she's right. I mean, I definitely have that type of personality - you put me in a new environment and my whole system kind of goes into shock. And that is definitely an accurate description of my experience here in Georgia so far. My surroundings are so unfamiliar, I am definitely feeling culture shock (even though I was sure I wouldn't), I don't really know too many people (although we are SO blessed to have a couple of families we know living close to us), I can't find a job, and I spend most of my day by myself in my house with my itunes blaring. I've found myself resentful of my husband for moving us here, extremely frustrated with the job hunt, and feeling kinda... hopeless. And that's not for lack of trying. I've sent out resumes every day, and I'm trying to make connections with other people in every way possible. I just feel tired, exhausted, and well... dried up.
Last week my husband bought me a plant. It's a Pixie Lilly, and the label says it's a "tough, easy to grow speciman." Well, I beg to differ. This is what my pixie lilly looks like after a week in its new home.
Not real promising, huh?
It was quite frustrating when I woke up one morning and my Pixie Lilly was all drooped over with the petals scattered around it on the floor. I almost gave up and just set it outside to finish dying.
But then I decided I wasn't quite ready to give up on it yet. I watered it, pulled off some of the dead petals, and set it out on the back porch. When I went back to get it, it still looked dead and I was disappointed. So I showed it to my husband to prove to him that I do NOT have a green thumb (he agrees, by the way). When he took a closer look at my little Pixie Lilly, however, he smiled and said, "Hey, don't give up on this one yet - look there's a new little bud up on top waiting to bloom." And sure enough, there was a tiny little new bud, very much alive, on the very top of the plant.
Even as I sit here looking at that rather pathetic looking plant and typing this, God is using that pathetic little Pixie Lilly to speak to my heart. Right now, I do feel really shriveled up - dead and useless. And even though we've only been here a month, at times, I've cried out to God, "God, have you forgotten about me?" But God doesn't work the way we sometimes think He should. Even though from my circumstances and the way I am feeling, it seems that I'm going to just "shrivel up and die" like that professor said, I think there's a different end to this story. It seems to me that maybe there's a little bud about to bloom in the story of my life. I just need to keep watering it, make sure it spends plenty of time in the "Son", and give it some time.
And that's a kiss on my forehead from Heaven. :) Grow up big and strong, little Pixie Lilly.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in His time."
