I throw a lot of things away. I love to purge and get rid of anything we have not used in 3 months. I realized I do this in order to avoid cleaning. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I purge something. After getting rid of crap I no longer feel the need to clean the room where I purged because I just purged it so its clean. All this leaves me with is organized dirty house.
What good is an organized house when I can't find my favorite cookie press. I can't find the darn thing because I gave it away. Today I will clean my house from the weekend and instead of throwing stuff in the trash (unless it is trash) I will actually clean the house: vacuum, dust, windows, laundry.
I think cleaning is so daunting because I know it will just get messy again. Well, clean it anyway because living in filth is just gross and I don't wanna be gross.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Praise The Lord and Pass the Medicine
My pastor and his wife (Brian and Anna) told me of a professor from their seminary whose wife was severely depressed and she was medicated for it. The professor used to tell the seminarians "Praise the Lord and pass the medicine." Well let me tell you. I am praising the Lord and passing the medicine to myself every morning and evening and it feels GOOD!
For some time now I have been on some psych meds. Most of you know this because I am anything but quiet about it. It is risky, but I talk about my meds the way a diabetic talks about insulin because it is the SAME thing. It is risky because the looks and judgement are everything you fear it will be. I have had the "judgey" looks and they bring pain and heartache. I have also had the "good for you" looks that people give when they really want to say, "good for her I would NEVER take meds". Both looks are equally discouraging. I don't want taking medication to be something people are ashamed of me for nor something I want people to be proud of me for. Both reactions are equally condescending.
What do I really want people to say and think... I don't know. Really... I wish I did.
As I sit here and brainstorm what I think I want for myself and for others on psych meds to know is this...
Not only is it okay, but it is good to be on meds if you need them. I want everyone to know that they are not alone. That God knew you would need medication and thinks you are whole. I want people to know that they don't have to tell me that they are hoping to stop medication someday so they can "live" without them. Honestly, if I "lived" without my medication it would be like a slow death from the inside out. I am my best self on medication.
For some time now I have been on some psych meds. Most of you know this because I am anything but quiet about it. It is risky, but I talk about my meds the way a diabetic talks about insulin because it is the SAME thing. It is risky because the looks and judgement are everything you fear it will be. I have had the "judgey" looks and they bring pain and heartache. I have also had the "good for you" looks that people give when they really want to say, "good for her I would NEVER take meds". Both looks are equally discouraging. I don't want taking medication to be something people are ashamed of me for nor something I want people to be proud of me for. Both reactions are equally condescending.
What do I really want people to say and think... I don't know. Really... I wish I did.
As I sit here and brainstorm what I think I want for myself and for others on psych meds to know is this...
Not only is it okay, but it is good to be on meds if you need them. I want everyone to know that they are not alone. That God knew you would need medication and thinks you are whole. I want people to know that they don't have to tell me that they are hoping to stop medication someday so they can "live" without them. Honestly, if I "lived" without my medication it would be like a slow death from the inside out. I am my best self on medication.
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